Me Time!

On Sunday gone I attended a truly excellent event hosted by Moms Connect TT titled Me-Time held at the Anchorage, Chaguaramas. It was an occasion for mothers in Trinidad and Tobago to sit back, relax, drink wine, network and forget the cray of motherhood for a few hours. I immediately appreciated this as a selling pitch in a ‘TAKE MY MONEY, GIMME MY TICKET!!!’ kinda way. Of course, the absolute highlight of this event was the attendance and talk given by the one and only Kristina Kuzmic  known as the Truth Bomb Mom, whose viral videos are HIGH-LARIOUS (if you haven’t seen a single one, there’s this classic , this gem and this truly relatable one.)

I dragged another fantabulous mom with me and upon our arrival we were greeted with a swag bag area and then led toward the main event which was so beautifully decorated, I felt like it was a kinda dreamscape. I have no pictures of this part of the event simply because I was in that awe state. That swag bag was larger than usual and then a guy asked to take our pics and then a lady offered a yum spinach roll up thing and then another with wine and then another with cookie bites and then soon enough, our hands were full and we needed a reset. We managed to shuffle stuff around for comfort and then we started walking in earnest.

Now I have been to many ‘all inclusive’ events but none like this. What I mean is that usually an ‘all-inclusive’ would have a smorgasbord of things to sample from before your very eyes, but in this one I felt that I was catered to specifically. The organisers really put effort into ensuring that there were goodies and stations there that a mom would truly appreciate. So from wine, ice cream, cakes and teas to makeup touchups, manicures on the spot, boutique tables, scented candles and hair and body goodies. I particularly liked the Twigs Naturals set up, Mama Bee’s Baby Food and the guy with the drink titled Suspense which I am praying gets picked up by a distributor but at the same time I think he should make all the bottles for me alone, it is that delish!

This event wasn’t all about the freeness (although there is absolutely nothing wrong with that 🙂 ), there were also a variety of workshops presented as well. Now we arrived late and only managed to see two of the main workshops but the variety of booths and the information from the exhibitors made up entirely for that. The Latin dancing session by Rico Suave was so enjoyable!!! A lot of moms were front and centre and even Kristina was in the thick of it! Thank God for that Sacha station which I managed to get to in the nick of time only for the makeup guy to question what he deemed the ‘ashyness’ of my face and fix it immediately. It’s a good thing I have a sense of humour yes!

At the main event Kristina looked gorgeous! She was outfitted by the Little Black Dress and slayed to the high heavens! She spoke about her background, how she came to be known as the Truth Bomb Mom, how her parenting skills work for her despite what anyone thinks or has to judge about it. All of this of course injected with her brand of humour which was delightful to witness in person.

We were truly happy to spend our well-deserved Me Time! It was really an event with a genuine feel, light-hearted and happy. We left really open, talking about our gremlinz, our husbys and how we felt about different situations in our own lives. More and more I realize how important it is for mothers in particular to have these kinds of gabs with one another to ease the tension valve so that we all don’t go crazy at the same time. I wholeheartedly congratulate the event organisers Moms Connect TT and wish them all the best in their future endeavours. I will be stalking them with a passion to see what they come up with next. They are THAT good. Here are some pics I took from the event, I didn’t take a lot, didn’t want to take up too much of my Me Time 😀

 

This drink!  As soon as it hits the shelves I’m stocking about ten bottles.
Giveaways galore!
A work colleague of mine from the Southland always sings praises. Finally I can join the chorus. This was joy in a cup.

Cheers! Well done!!

Bless up

TMIDM

 

P.S.  Swag

My phone camera was astonished at the amount of stuff hence the blurriness…
Coupons! 😀

 

Life of a Hustler (part 1)

I am always hustling. Counting minutes in my head, always watching my timepiece. I am a veritable slave to time. It is the only way that I know to exist.

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(Nobody is usually smiling  like that though. There’s usually urging, yelling, snapping fingers, pleading and total forgetting of the usual family pleasantries, I’m late dammit.)it’s bad, I know.

During the week I wake up at 4 am. I strive to pray but it usually ends up with me telling God, “thanks for waking me up, we’ll talk more in the car.” I actually get off my bed around 4:30 or 5am depending on whether young Boyo is lying next to me under my armpit or how much prep I have to do to send people off with food. Then I have to make sure to leave home before 6:45 or else I’ll have to resort to driving like a maniac so I can screech in to work on time. So my morning routine is like a checklist going of in my head, of course subject to delays: car trouble, burnt breakfast, last-minute bathroom trips. Then I offload the gremlinz at my mother’s in the opposite direction. Sometimes she wants to do small talk which I don’t usually mind but other times: tick tock. Sometimes the gremlinz forget stuff at home which allows me to reconnect with God as I royally get pissed off. “This is a well-oiled machine that isn’t supposed to have any kinks! Get it together!!!” It is bad, again, I know.

I work one and a quarter hours away and the roads are really bad but punctuality cares nothing for distance. I make sure to get gas for my car the evening before because any delay could cause me to get stuck in traffic that I wouldn’t have been stuck in, had I left earlier. I have every single traffic light timed in my head and memorized. I have shortcuts mastered. I even try to anticipate how fast a driver looks like he will go so I will know not to get stuck behind him.  I know all the potholes in the aforementioned bad roads. I know the distance from A to B is 12 minutes, B to C is 3 minutes, C to D is 11 minutes, D to F is 7 minutes with complete exactness. Sad? Yup….

Don’t ever be a teacher who is late. You might as well be carving your own to cross to properly well plant into the ground in a place called Calvary. Not to mention, you are exposed for principal, colleagues, students, everybody to judge no matter your lame/valid excuse. I have 45 minutes late against my record for the year. I CANNOT afford to add to it to be supplied with letters and to suffer through warnings so I try my best. But then there are others who operate  like time in a non-muthaluvin factor. My husband is like that. No concept of time whatsoever and he cares nothing for it, whenever he reach, he reach which I think is a little selfish.

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Sigh….Get there on time! The world does not revolve around you and your tardiness!

I could try to slow down but then the joke’s on me as everything then piles up like dishes in your sink. No one feels as obligated to get tasks done in my camp which would assist everyone. I tend to run out of constant reminders for the fam so I might as well get up do it myself. It will work until I drop down. One of these days I will activate the FUCKIT button though.  Bad? Definitely. Next up….weekends….

Bless up

TMIDM

Winning!

She looked at me and deadpanned, “Ah cyah handle allyuh sometimes yuh know”. And then let go a long watery steups. I started to laugh.

Some time ago I was pregnant. It wasn’t a totally glorious time with sunshine, rainbows and idyllic photoshoots in the woods. It was painful, I was heavy, my bones ached and I was so ready for it to end post week 28. However, I must say beyond my beyond beyoooootiful baby boy (hereafter referred to as Boyo), the best part of being pregnant is all the courtesy I got as I ventured all over the place. The malls, the church, on the road Carnival Monday and Tuesday (yes, I went through bravely and that was awesome)…People were like ‘watch out’, ‘be careful’, ‘take my seat’, ‘ok I will spare you this time but don’t let me catch you on the bus route again’…..that sorta thing. I was so appreciative and sometimes just a kind word helped me along the way while I was doing business on the outside when I just wanted to be home in meh bed.

Flash forward to post-pregnancy……After I recovered, life continued so I still had to move to suit my other two gremlinz. In addition, I had other personal business to see about, so I had to load up baby in car seat and hit the road. Well if I was surprised at the kindness of people while I was pregnant, I was blown away by the courtesy I received when toting 2-week old Boyo around. In a financial institution I got a cheque cashed when the official policy is to deposit it directly into your bank account. At three banks, I was immediately ushered to the counter. In a government office I got skipped to the front of a loooooong snaking line and got through in 20 minutes. The same thing happened when I went to pay a utility bill. I begged a park in a car park in the heart of POS and got through. In the grocery a lady took the items out my cart for me, even though it was a few things I ducked in to get. I felt really special, so special that my husband said I was milking it. I started bragging to no end :D, hence the reason for my sister’s response at the top of the post here. She told me I need to shut up when I kept talking about how easy and quick I kept getting through at places when I have Boyo with me 😀

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As a busy mother especially in Trinidad where customer service is close to nil and services move like molasses at particular times of the month, I was eternally grateful and ok maybe a tad over-zealous with it. I kept daring the system and felt like I was winning.  My mother volunteered to babysit but I was like “Nah! I’m good! Both of us going!” I felt like as a mother you gotta do what you gotta do. So if I hadda be smart and use meh popo as leverage, I doing it and if I continue annoying people like my sister who hadda stand in line, so be it. The nine months have to count for something :’D

Bless up

TMIDM

Sadness

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On Sunday night I got some devastating news about a friend of mine who passed away.  Of course I refused to believe it at first but when I got confirmation I felt as though someone knifed me in the heart. I plunged into sadness because to me grief comes not when you know someone is going to die by illness or suffering, but when it happens unexpectedly. That is the worst kind. On top of that is where your mind tosses about the couldas and the shouldas and the wouldas and that this death that was totally unexpected happened under questionable circumstances, makes it even worse. Now I have all these how and why questions that no one can answer for me now and I think that is what hurts the most. I have no immediate and absolute facts to deal with other than the one that is most poignant, that he is dead.

Of course all of the memories came flooding back, all the occasions, the serious conversations, the laughs, the singing and dancing…I knew that it would be a lot to bear. Yesterday at work I armed myself with various distractions, couple of DVDs, games, so I managed to block out my thoughts for bits at a time but he came back in a few random moments. I managed to smile today as I remembered a few and sighed rather than cried. I don’t feel as devastated as I did on Sunday into Monday but the sadness is still there as I suspect it will be until he is laid to rest.

It doesn’t happen often but I embrace my sadness. I wallow in it  because it comforts me and at a time like this, it is the only emotion, the only feeling that I am sure of.  I give it the attention it needs and then it goes away eventually. It might sound strange but it works for me much like anger, anxiety and fear.

So my friend is gone. It pains me to believe and it’s difficult to accept but I will get there and I have my sadness to help me along.

Bless up

TMIDM

Happy Mother’s Day!!

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Another year is here of well wishes, gift-giving and general pleasantries by all towards mothers and all representations on this Mother’s Day 2015. Happy Mother’s Day to all and sundry and on this day! I hope that each and every one of you spends the day as you see fit whether it be with family enjoying company, being waited upon and eating to your heart’s delight or completely alone enjoying the escape and relishing the peace and quiet.

This may sound weird but I’m not a hundred percent sold on Mother’s Day. I’m not completely against it like some men and Valentine’s Day but let’s just say I can understand the sentiment. “Why do I need a day to celebrate what should be celebrated everyday?” I’m certain for some mothers it’s a tad weird being fawned over and getting praises heaped upon for all that you do as opposed to tomorrow when it will be back to the regularly scheduled programming. It’s a tad facetious don’t you think?

I mean I understand the recognition and I’m one zillion percent behind showing appreciation to mothers for not just what we do but for who we are. Being a mother is the hardest vocation thrown at me by life because there really are days when I feel like I have it totally on lock and then there are others when I wish I could call for a time-out and let the substitute run on and take a sweat for a while.

What I’m saying is that appreciation should be shown every day, not necessarily the doting, but a mother should definitely feel  supported and loved all the time, rather than one day when all these flowery things are written and said giving hallmark extra revenue :D) . Let me know if I’m alone thinking on that wavelength.

That being said after a bumper breakfast I’m off to lunch with the fam (cuz Lord knows nobody else does cook in here but me!). Here’s to your special day lady whoever you are wherever you are, whatever you choose to do…

Bless up

TMIDM

My two cents on the 9-day wonder….

Me again! New thoughts have been processing but Lordt hav’ mercy the time! Anyways, here’s one of ‘em…

Everything goes through phases in Trinidad and Tobago. The ‘9-day wonder’ we call it where all of our attentions and passions are directed to something for nine days and after that we focus on another topic. These days the health care system is in for a rough ride as the Minister of Health Fuad Khan has recently revealed proposals to ‘shake up’ the health system in light of recent deaths of mothers in the public hospitals due to complications of C-section births. Among these new policies include fathers being allowed in the delivery room, increased visiting hours and a female relative being able to stay with the mother 24/7.

I feel it for the relatives of the mothers who died. I can’t even begin to imagine the trauma of entrusting the life of your precious wife/daughter into a shaky hospital system where she has to bring forth a child only to suffer the pain of losing her and in some cases, the child as well. It is a reality that the majority of the Trinbagonian society has no trust in the health care system. Very often from Port-of-Spain to Mt. Hope to San Fernando you hear tales of ‘hoggish’ nurses and nonchalant doctors intermixed with hours and hours of waiting, sparse pharmacy facilities, paltry bathrooms and no beds.

I had both of my gremlinz in POS although I live in the East and this was driven mainly by a lack of faith which was further driven by fear (I wasn’t going to Mt. Hope for nuttin). I wish I could have done the private room or nursing home thing in a comfortable room filled with flowers and family visiting only me but the reality is that my salary did not permit. So too are the MAJORITY of expectant mothers in the land. As an expectant mother you expect to feel comfortable to deliver your baby, you expect patient nurses, you expect professional doctors and you expect the help to guide you through this very difficult process. I got exactly that at Port of Spain General. When I had my gremz the staff was very satisfactory. I mean it wasn’t Club Med in terms of the facilities, but I had no intention of lengthening my stay longer than I needed to.  I followed all instructions to a tee from clinic days to the delivery room.

It is difficult for me to paint a broad brush even though this is what I did at when I decided to forego Mt. Hope for POS and yes there are vastly numerous cases where the burden of the unstable hospital system is felt. However as a worker in a field where the glare of public scrutiny is definitely felt, I also feel it for the professionals in the hospitals. On the other side of this coin there are some doctors and nurses who are unfairly chastised for the work that they do or are unable to do based on the resources that they have and the public cases cropping up of pregnant mothers dying. (Substitute the ‘doctors and nurses’ bit there for teachers, public servants, police officers etc. and you will understand the general state that we are in). On top of it all, there is a Minister who jumped the proverbial gun and instituted his policies without relevant consultation and added more pressure to all involved rather than intelligently easing the tension.

I hope sincerely that all matters are resolved and that closure comes to all involved in this extremely sensitive area. We are on the tail end of the 9-days though and sadly soon we will be on to the next.

Sand in my eyeballs

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I wish there was a day I could come home with absolutely nothing to do, a hot meal waiting and all my shit already organised for the next day. I want to go even further than that and say that  I wish this could happen for a full work week, I would be eternally grateful and would gladly return to the regularly scheduled programme the  following week.

Today I understand why people hire people to do stuff they could very well do for themselves. My mother is a housewife. She has tons of responsibilities and many side projects. I’ve always seen her balance it like a pro even though there were days when she was beat. I’ve never had a ‘working woman’  example reflected back to me so I developed a routine that has worked for me inclusive of the ‘family care’ part which I learned from her. Balancing the work/home life is basically 90% of my life with the remaining 10% aptly titled  ‘ME’. The thought never occurred to me that a helper would make sense, until today that is. After an exhaustive day I just wanted to faceplant on my bed but alas my gremz need to be fed etc etc etc

I’m so tired it’s like I have sand in my eyeballs but I still have to organise for tomorrow and noooooo I can’t do the extra mile on the weekend, it is loaded as it is. Noooooo I can’t wake up early in the morning either because then I would be using part of my 10% which requires that I be in the gym. 

Sigh, I’m jealous of all of you with helpers, send one my way for the week nah. No? Fiiiiine… back at it then.

This mom is…

  • dusting off the cobwebs on this blog
  • really not looking forward to work tomorrow, somebody should patent “Sunday blues”, prepare an antidote, bottle it and sell
  • behind on the technology curve with a cracked Toshiba laptop screen and a busted Samsung S3 and absolutely no pressing desire to fix either one
  • wondering what to pack in lunchkit as a month has almost gone and I’ve used up my Pinspiration
  • very glad that Fall TV has returned and is looking forward to zoning out on primetime or on downloads on aforementioned cracked screen.
  • going to listen to Sweet 100FM all day tomorrow to kick in some Christmas spirit
  • looking forward for Christmas and its associated retail therapy
  • wondering when I will ever get time to fully engage with those books on my Kindle for the sake of my sanity
  • determined to do her part to contribute to society but is growing increasingly frustrated with the part that she is playing and is contemplating a switch/upgrade
  • fed up of what is recurrent and seemingly un-fixable problems in Trinidad
  • praying that it gets better for the sake of her gremlinz
  • happy for George Clooney
  • wondering if she will ever begin her Masters
  • in need of shoes
  • working on Phonics with Mam’zelle
  • wondering if Son-son’s handwriting will improve
  • glad she is not a primary school teacher but is an admirer of their labour
  • hoping that it turns out positively for her neighbour who is currently on his second hunger strike in front of the Prime Minister’s office
  • not happy with how her fudge experiment turned out but will try back again in a few months
  • intent  to blog again soon

Bless up

TMIDM

For the Moms

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To all the Moms out there:

For that time when you watched your newborn, kept checking to see if he’s breathing and wondered if you really ready for this,

For the time when you heard her crying for YET ANOTHER a.m. feeding and let her cry because “Lord Jesus, i cyah get off dis bed nah!”……and then you get off the bed……….

For that time when he fell out the crib and you felt your heart crawl up your gullet and bust straight through your scalp (true story, both gremlinz),

For the times when you pack a baby bag and people wonder if you’re going to New York for the day,

For the times when you keep sniffing her neck because baby smell and giggles are so addictive!,

 

There is no shelter like the mother. There is no refuge like the mother. There is no defense like the mother. There is no one so dear as the mother 

From the Mahabharata
Santi Parva: Mokshadharma Parva
Section CCLXVI

 

For that time when they got the first vaccination and you tried to hold it together….and failed……,

For the times when seasoned mothers, aunts, grannies and total strangers make you feel as though you’re an alien raising a baby,

For the times when chaos follows the sentence “Mummy watch this!…”,

For that time when you walked into a room and found him and your furniture items covered in flour or powder or grease or lotion or powdered milk etc…(another true story)

For that time when she started kindergarten and you tried to hold it together……and failed……..

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For the times of yawns during homework, never-ending spelling lists, ‘whiteman’ on the knee, sibling fights, sibling-kiss and-makeups, silent screams for your alone time, bad moods, licks, cousins spending the night, toys all over the place, spending more time with the pardners, Common Entrance jitters, SEA paranoia, struggling to raise a smart, functioning teenager, boyfriends, girlfriends, breakups, fights, weddings, grandchildren and finding the balance in the middle of it all…….

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